Here's a way of thinking what we learned from Dave and it really helped me:
The source of the biggest problems in life is when someone learns something (reads it in a book or someone teaches him/her) and because that thing really works (or it looks like it works) in that situation within those borders and explanation, the person starts to think that this thing is the answer to life and to everything. This happens especially if this "answer" sounds really cool and the person doesn't really think about it deeply, OR the person was raised learning it (from the people around him, or by society). From then on the person will try to make everyone believe in what he/she believes in, and the worst part is that he/she will start to hate the ones who might disagree! This happens awfully lot in politics (basically this is what politics is based on) and in religions and even in the smallest things in life. People usually think the solution is A, or the solution is B, but can you really give an exact answer to anything? And why stop at just one answer? Of course your ego wants to give the ultimate answer, it wants to be the smart and important one, so it starts to build up this duality between I'm right and who disagree is wrong, and it will try to destroy the wrong ones, so it can be the important one! At this point the greatest fear of your ego is that someone can disproof your "big solution", so if any sign appears that this can happen, it will attack aggressively, this is when the argument pops out.
I noticed that if 2 guys are arguing the truth is usually either in the middle, or both of them are wrong. In the moment you think "I know this, this is it!" you're limiting yourself to just one thing, but there's the whole world also! This means much more than it sounds like, and I think this is why Dave tells us all the time "there are no absolutes!" If something is not changing, then it's DEAD, so how can you give one solution to LIFE? In a fight you're probably right from your point of view, this also means the other one is right from his/her point of view, but there's a big chance both of you are wrong if you look at the big picture from all the angles.
The summary is if you have a strong opinion about something then maybe you're bordering yourself from something much more bigger and your (your ego's) REAL reason behind all of this is just to look important, because you can't bear that you're not, you want to be "somebody", you want to be "tough", but you limit yourself, that's a big price!
To give an easy example: there's a guy who only believes in positive numbers and rejects the negatives, anyone can see that this person is not only loosing half of the numbers, but also things like subtraction. This is limited thinking, we learn not just only to use EVERY number, but to use the fraction numbers, the letters, colors, everything! Even the non-existing numbers, and non-existing letters and colors! We can make and we're expected to make new things! There are no absolutes, there are infinite possibilities!
Very good thoughts Lurch!
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame that few people are strong enough to break their ego and try to realize it. It is so much better to be and think like everybody else or a certain group or to stick to a universal idea - as in your example. But how can we possibly HAVE a univeral idea, if human brain has to FILTER most of the information that is actually around us?
I think it is important to keep some kind of example for yourself, but not to stick to one principle or a belief